Sometimes, You Get Exactly What You Ask For

My story begins with my 5 day trip to Chicago over Memorial Day weekend to visit my best friend, CJ. She recently got a Master’s in Teaching English as a Second Language, and will probably be moving overseas this fall. Anyway, it was an absolutely wonderful vacation. She had to work part of the time, so I had time by myself in the mornings to sleep in, eat a leisurely breakfast, read, and think. All weekend I kept reflecting on how happy CJ and her other TESL friends are: they are doing what their education has trained them for and what they are passionate about. I was envious of that purpose in their lives. Since dropping out of my graduate program a few years back, I’ve been rather directionless and certainly haven’t been able to get paid in an area related to my academic background or my passions.

On Sunday night, CJ, her friend A, and I drove into Chicago to visit the John Hancock Tower. We planned to have drinks on the 95^th floor restaurant. We were all dressed up and wearing terribly impractical high heels (mine were borrowed from CJ—I don’t actually own any such shoes), and we drove around looking for close parking. They tried all the spots where they’d had success before, but it was a holiday weekend and crowded. Just as A suggested we go to the parking garage and just deal with the long hike, CJ prayed “Oh Lord, please let us find a parking spot on this block”. My initial reaction, honestly, was that it was a stupid prayer. Why should God give us good parking just because we chose silly footwear? Aren’t there other people out there in more need of good parking spots (elderly, people with small children, etc.)? Why did she pray it out loud, and what will she say if we don’t find a good parking spot? But then, within about a minute—still on the same block—we found a spot. Her friend said they had never found such good parking in the city.

Well, I was dumbfounded. God gave CJ good parking!!! WTF?? Yeah, I know it could be coincidence—stranger things have certainly happened. But believing that God provided CJ good parking is certainly the more interesting of the two possibilities.

Well, this random parking blessing stayed with me, and I eventually connected it with my frustration with my lack of direction in life. Surely, if God can get CJ good parking in downtown Chicago, He can point me in the direction I need to go. So I decided when I got home, I’d start praying every day for 30 days for God to show me what step I should take next. I specifically asked for a flashing neon sign kind of thing, because I really didn’t think I’d discern something more subtle.

So I got back on a Monday night, and I think I started praying on Tuesday. On the following Sunday, I had a catering gig with my second job. It was an open house for a family that had recently remodeled and expanded their very nice house, and wanted to give everyone a chance to come and see it. So we get there, and I’m busy unloading the cars. The wife comes out and starts directing our progress. It was a perfectly normal catering event. Then the husband came upstairs, and everything changed.

It was one of my professors from my graduate program!! I had taken an ethics class with him, and had not written the paper (one of several classes I never finished). I was shocked and mortified and completely freaking out (on the inside). I hadn’t spoken to anyone in that department since I’d dropped out.

Well, fortunately, at that moment it was discovered that we’d forgotten all the beer, so I was sent back to the catering facility for the beer. So I had some time to attempt to process all of this. It did not escape my notice that this could be God’s doing, and I was upset. I admit, I said some very impolite things: “What kind of shit do you think you’re trying to pull here???” Yeah, I know: I did ask for it and that’s really wrong of me to say, but it’s how I felt. Well, I was back with the beer before I really knew what I’d say to my professor—I know why I dropped out but I don’t know how to explain it to others without giving them my life story.

So I arrive back with the beers, and Dr. L. offers to show me where their basement fridge is. I follow him, still kind of freaking out. He cut right to the point: “So, Jennifer, you still owe me a paper....” I fumbled through the conversation, not sure how to word things but basically saying that I’d lost interest in philosophy because I’d gotten depressed, and just found it too hard to do things. Also, after a certain point, I kind of assumed that my profs wouldn’t want my papers. But I felt like I couldn’t move on in my life if I didn’t finish this Master’s. Dr. L was very understanding. He showed me real grace, and said that he would accept a paper from me, and he thinks my other profs would too. It was a great conversation.

Just to make sure you understand how amazing this conversation was, out of all the professors in my department, Dr. L. was probably one of two or three profs who would have 1.) remembered me, and 2.) cared enough to say something encouraging.

Now, I didn’t feel any sort of Voice From God or anything, but I can recognize a plot point when I see one. So was it God’s doing? I think so, in part because once I wrapped my head around the idea of finishing my Master’s, I felt like something clicked into place.

So I know the actual task of finishing this degree isn’t beyond my abilities (though it will be very challenging). Honestly, the toughest part will be budgeting my time to get this done. I don’t have a super strict time table, but I’m aiming to finish by fall of ’07, so that I could go back to school in the fall, if I wanted. Also, since I do feel like I’m stuck in my job and in my personal life until I finish this, I obviously want to get free as soon as possible. I really don’t know how I’ll make time for this. I’m still working on figuring out a routine—once I establish a routine I can be good at sticking to it, and then that activity doesn’t seem so hard.

I will still continue with this blog, but I may limit myself on the amount of time I spend blogging per week. So don’t expect a daily entry, folks. But I’ll try to make regulary entries.

So the moral of this story? Aim big and be specific: ask God for valet parking. ;)